


a fifth cousin.

by razussy



Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: F/F, I have writers block, Other, Pet Sitting, aunt and niece hc, shitpost lol, short oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:41:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25291060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/razussy/pseuds/razussy
Summary: deb goes over to charlotte's house and isn't told why until she is already there.
Relationships: Charlotte and Deb, Charlotte/Doug (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	a fifth cousin.

**Author's Note:**

> this is BAD but i just needed to get something out for the month lmao july is chug season babey expect more half assed oneshots

“so, why was i invited here again?”

deb grabbed an apple from a fruit bowl placed on the kitchen counter and bit into it, chewing it as she watched her aunt flip through a recipe book that looked as if it was from decades ago. as she mentioned, she was invited to charlotte’s house without explanation, but usually they have their hangouts at the end of the month - it only had been a couple weeks since she last saw her.  
“well, i didn’t want to bother you since summer break just started for students, though it seems today doug nor i can watch the pets! i never had a sitter before, and my cats seem to love you dearly, so i thought it would be nice for you to stay over for a few hours.” she explained, not looking up from the book.

the teen swallowed her bite after hearing the reasoning. “that’s all? huh, expected you to ask if i could move around furniture and redecorate with doug. you know, bondin’ more with them and whatnot,” said deb, as she leaned back against the counter. charlotte giggled and shook her head at what she said. her niece wasn’t too fond of having a former cop in the family, since she just finished the divorce process with sam not too long, but it seems she liked doug more.  
“none of that, don’t worry. just making sure the pets aren’t getting into any trouble and are fed. i guess now would be a good time to tell you about the new member of the family, hm?”  
“the new what now?” that took her by surprise.  
“new family member! he should be around here somewhere… oh!”

both of their gazes landed on doug, who just came back from doing whatever they do, and saw they were holding an opossum in their arms like a newborn baby. deb made a few faces, unsure on what to say; “you adopted a opossum? aunt lottie, i love ya, but what the hell?” she took another bite of her apple as she watched the animal squirm a bit in their arms.  
“i researched on them for a few days and found out the domestic sweeties act similar to cats, and i’ve been wanting to have another addition to the house! his name is banana, he likes to scream and hiss, but he is very cuddly once he gets to know you,” explained charlotte, as she reached a hand over and scratched under the opossum’s muzzle. okay, deb knew she was a crazy cat lady with a huge heart, yet even this seemed a bit too much for her.

“i’m getting paid to watch them, right?”  
“of course, why wouldn’t you?” answered doug, as they set down banana on the ground and watched him sniff in deb’s direction. well, money is money. deb agreed to taking the easy responsibility and finished eating her apple, more or less tuning out her aunt explain the basics on taking care of an opossum. if it acts like a cat, then it shouldn’t be too hard to handle it without much background knowledge. she followed banana into the living room, where the rest of the cats were, and plopped on the couch.

“lyon, how do you feel about this feral man replacing your spot as king?” she asked the ginger cat next to her, smiling in amusement to see his ear flicked as he listened to her question. lyon looked down at the wandering creature and let out a soft meow to try and get his attention, jumping off the couch; the two made noises at each other back and forth, deb raising a brow as they interacted. she doesn’t know much about animals but she knows different species should have some sort of language barrier similar to humans.  
without warning, an all black cat jumped out from behind the table and rolled on her back, pawing at banana’s face in a playful way. fisher had to be deb’s favorite out of all the cats. banana hissed as the gesture and smacked fisher's paw away, which deb assumed he didn’t like - what a little bitch boy.

as the three messed around, she got up and went over to the entertainment stand, and grabbed the switch from its spot; she usually played it just to help charlotte get some stuff done on her island when she couldn’t get around to doing it herself. she sat back down, blowing her loose curls out of her face to see if the animals were okay, then put all her attention onto the system’s screen.  
smokey, one of the other cats that was the under-the-couch gremlin, crawled out in the open and tried to whack at any of the other pets’ legs and tails when they came too close. this caused banana to turn around and try to bite her, his gray fur spiking up a bit that indicated he was getting mad at the mean feline. it was entertaining for mittens, the last cat of the group that kept to herself and usually cries when someone is near her. out of all the cats, banana liked her the most and would try to give treats stolen from the kitchen to her, though always got scared of hearing her scary noises.

“hey, come on now, don’t be a bully,” said deb, as she waved her hand in between the couch cat and rage opossum to stop the fighting. this only made smokey claw at her hand and banana snap his jaw at her, deb pulling her arm back and held her own hand. “assholes! why are you so angry today? this is vibe time and i do not appreciate how un-funky fresh you are being, mister and ma’am.” she scolded at the two that did not understand a word she said.  
she picked up banana and set him on her lap, ignoring his screaming that she hoped wasn’t from fear, and showed him the switch; “look, you’re supposed to be as chill as this weird cat here. they are sittin’ down and munchin’ on a sandwich, you should do the same, sir.” she said, keeping a gaze down on him as he took a sniff of the device. when she thought he was calmed down, she went back to playing the game, occasionally petting him when she could so he didn’t try crying for attention.

after a while, deb forgot that the animals perhaps needed to eat, and only remembered with all four cats began to rub up against her and meow excessively. “okay, okay, i’m sorry- this raccoon was takin’ my money, i got distracted.” she apologized and set the system aside, hopping on her feet as she walked into the kitchen once more with all five trailing behind her. she wasn’t aware that her aunt and aunt’s partner left until she read a note saying they had to quickly go to the store; this made her feel less bad at the thought of getting in their way while they cooked or baked for that party the following day.  
“all right, fisher and smokey’s bowls are first!” she declared as she pulled out the heavy bag of cat food from the closet and dragged it on the floor. she had to shoo the few away as she went through the process, laughing whenever one of the cats tried climbing on her. “impatient, impatient,” said deb, as she shook her head in disapproval.  
it took around ten minutes to go around to find the bowls in different rooms and stock them up, but she couldn’t remember what her aunt told her about banana’s diet. she guessed it had to be the same food she gave the other four, and after staring at the hungry fella for god knows how long, she sighed and plopped a few scoops in his dish.  
“sorry if this isn’t right, bud, i’m not the best at takin’ care of things. maybe aunt lottie should’ve called up alice or somethin’.” she told banana as she pet him, watching him chow down on the cat food as if he always ate it.  
sure, it was an option to do a quick google search on their eating habits, but she was more concerned about her own habit of not listening to helpful information. she smiled to see he finished up his dinner fast, but it fell when he looked around his bowl as if there was something missing.  
then came the screaming.

“are you good, dude?” asked deb, as she picked him up in a panic and felt him squirm in her gentle grasp. “are you still hungry? jeez, i think she said two scoops for everyone else- is your stomach bigger?” she questioned, walking out the area she was in to go find her phone. when entering the kitchen once more, banana moved around even more than before, and she let go of him when she felt him nibble at her arm. he landed on the counter that was closest to them and scampered to the bowl of fruit, putting his face into it to sniff out another meal. deb only watched, noticing he grabbed a banana and made a run for it - she yelled out his name as she chased after the small animal, telling him to drop it.  
he wasn’t a dog, why was she calling him like one? deb slipped on the wood floor when turning a corner and fell over, and huffed out a swear after slamming on the ground. “you fucking-”

“deborah! are you okay?” gasped charlotte, who set aside the bags of groceries in her hands to go over to her niece. “what happened, what were you running for?”  
“the cunt stole a banana, i was tryin’ to get him before he ate it! too late for that, i guess.” she sat up and held her arm, furrowing her brows when she saw the opossum peek his head from the corner; mouth chewing on what she assumed was the fruit.  
“oh dear, it’s safe for the child to eat, we usually let him have half at dinner time and the other half before bed.” her aunt reassured and checked for any scars or blood on her; “i must have told you what banana eats, didn’t i?”

“er, i didn’t remember- i wasn’t even listenin’, to tell the truth. sorry,” mumbled deb, as she fixed her croaked beanie. she got help from doug with getting back on her feet and dusted herself off. she felt charlotte give her a short hug.  
“don’t worry about it, dear, next time i’ll warn you about what we need and write down everything you have to know for what you’ll be doing.”  
“please, that would be helpful.” she glanced down at banana, who was nuzzling his face into her ankle, getting bits of mushed fruit on her pants. she may have found him a tad frustrating, he redeemed that bad quality with his cuteness and sudden fondness to her.

deb knows now that in future days when she would need to watch her five cousins, she definitely will bring her animal-loving girlfriend along to do most of the dirty work. more time for the two to hang out, anyways.


End file.
